11 / 14 / 2021
Today I feel really tired. This heaviness rests on my eyes and while I feel sorta energetic and happy inside, it's hard to show it. Didn't go on that date with Steven, his mother found his vape and he got in trouble. I don't like being around people who use drugs, it's not even an uncommon one or something horrible, BUT my parents have smoked all my life, my grandfather was a drug addict, my brother has done drugs since age 12... It's so normal. The most I'll do is smoke weed, but the few times that I have done it have been eh? Felt some effects but it really didn't do much for me.

I hung out with one of my friends, Danilo. He is so chill, he likes heavy metal a lot and has super long hair which looks great. We went out to dinner, to a vinyl store, and to ice cream about 20 minutes away from home. He was a hoot to be around and we are going to hangout again today! Which I'm ready for. I worked a 10 hour shifft yesterday and let me tell you... Never again.

I made it into the All-District Orchestra!!! :- ) My ranking was 25/140 which is INSANE, I also got into the top ensemble! Which is something that no one has managed in a few years. I'm so proud of myself, this is all really exhilarating and now I have to prepare for State auditions. Not to be a downer, but it'll be hard and the likelihood of me making it is near 0. Last year only 5 people in the whole region made it, so I need to really grind if I want to get in. I'm also applying for a violin scholarship which I need to make a DVD for, it's all in the works and I'm really happy and proud all around.

Trying to crochet more, in the process of making 3 blankets and a scarf. I think I'll be able to finish the scarf rather quickly, then I need a few more bundles of yarn to finish the blankets. Then I got a LOT of granny squares to make. Also been doing art a lot, which has been nice. Started using oil paint and I like it more than acrylic I think. But the drying process takes a few days, which I think is the only annoying thing about it. Also, in my AP Studio Art class my teacher picked my work to display somewhere! Woo!

Have been slowly getting back into self-care, crystals, and meditation. Which is amazing.. When I feel tired I try to go straight to it and remind myself that it'll be okay and while I can't help the situations I tumble into or the things that are said to me... I can change how I react to it all.
4:19 p.m

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