07 / 29 / 2021
I FEEL SO AMAZING!!!
So this summer I have been going on a spiritual journey/self-discovery journey. With illness and depression I have been altered off course many times, thus making me not participate in some things I enjoy doing. For example, I like meditating, utilizing crystals, astral projection, etc.
So this evening I decided that I was going to meditate again, since I haven't done it in around 3 weeks or so? So I ate my dessert, took a bath, and initiated it all... I turned on this 3rd eye meditation on Youtube, got my charged amythest, put some earbuds in, and laid down to meditate. I put the crytal right on my pineal gland, laid in the starfish position, and just relaxed into my matress.
Throughout the meditation I felt a deep pressure on the center of my forehead, energy radiating throughout my body, and a soft feather feeling all over my upper thighs. Moving from one leg to the next.
It was so refreshing and so nice.
When I feel Manic or Depressed I fail to turn to spirituality and witch craft because in those times, I see it as a chore. But I am so so so happy that I decided to meditate tonight. I feel very refreshed and open. I just feel so good! : -)

I went and saw my psychiatrist yesterday. He said it sounds like I had some hypomania going on. So he upped all my meds, the Seroquel he upped a LOT and my Lamictal he upped just a little! Before this med change I couldn't sleep ever. I would be up all night and would be reckless and then the next second I would be severly depressed and suicidal feeling. But let me TELL YOU! I got the best fucking sleep last night. I slept 13 hours and I haven't slept that long in forever (literally, when I actually sleep it would be like 5 hours or so? and the past few weeks it has been no sleep or 2-3 hours only). But overall, I just feel so amazing.