I'm really liking the slow descent into winter madness this year. I've done more this winter in regards of appreciating nature and what's around me than in many years past and I feel santified by it.
To give some update to my life, I have been spending more time with my spouses family and I'm really enjoying myself. It's nice to be in a group of people who aren't dirty and foul in every sentence, to really laugh and to not stifle it with fear, and to feel calm and not anxious everywhere. These past few years have felt like a resistance to pursuing my dreams and I've been all over the place in an effort to prove that I'm an adult and not a dependent child, though this year has showed me a type of softness and space that I feel like I'm finally coming into my own. :)
I feel like I can move and every nerve was in sync with that movement, I can cry and when I do, I really wanted to actually cry, I can laugh and I'm not as scared that I look silly. I don't feel held to the expectation that I preferred in lives past, I can live and I don't feel an ownership over me for solely existing.
I've been falling more in love with music again, my violin and it's bow have seen many different scales these past few weeks and I'm playing pieces on piano that I'd never imagine possible by me. I'm reading more, currently, The Woman in White , I've been working on a flower crochet cardigan and getting a knit swatch down for a headband I'd like to make for this winter, and I've been playing Roblox lol.
See you soon!
6:12 a.m