I haven't been on here for a LONG time, and a lot has happened since then!
In Feburary I tried to commit suicide again, just as I was about to commit the final line my parents found out about it. I went to the hospital and spent a little over a week there. But in that time I feel like it was the best time I've had in a long time. I made a lot of friends there, and best of all I met my current boyfriend there. His name is Allen and we've been dating around 7 months now.
Right after I got out me and him hung out at Olive Garden and just enjoyed eachothers time. He was a lot of fun to be around. We hung out around one to two times a week for a few months until I moved in with him and his friends, who I all really like and have a lot of fun with.
I was going to go to college this year on scholarship for violin performance. But unfortunatly I wasn't able to go. My car wasn't running and I didn't have enough personal money to go and support myself in college. My professor wasn't able to get me a job so I didn't have a way to earn money down there, which I 100% needed.
I've just been working so far. I worked at as a mechanic for a while but I was fired for god knows what THEN I worked for a screen printing factory anf they fired me too :- L I don't get it, I was a temp for one of them but they're both union jobs. Thankfully I have a job right now so I'm all good. I just don't get it. I'm over trying to understand it though, it's just wasted energy trying to get it, so I'm not going to waste my time on it.
Next month I'm going to start a coding bootcamp which I'm very excited for. But before I start it I need to get a MacBook laptop and JESUS CHRIST they start at $1000. It'll be tough to find the money to get that in the next month. Though... My uncle Ted (who is insanely rich, lucky lucky man) sent my grandma a $1000 to give to me for college. So, I'm going to talk to my grandma and hopefully (fingers crossed) get that money which I can use on the laptop. I PRAY that I get that money for that. it'll be literally a life saver.
But in terms of aesthetic I've been between country, emo, and fairy grunge recently. Everyone here at the apartment is country and that's made me get back into it. Then I've always had a love for emo and scene culture and I had a big phase of it last year which I still adore. Then I've always been into fairy grunge. It's been my go-to for a long time. I like the colors and everything about it. I feel I really fit into it.